The Bully: Does it Exist in the Adult World?
Monica Renata
The Bully
Noun
a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.
I remember when I was growing up, I feared the bully…. You know that person who would try to make your life a living hell even on the sunniest days? That bully who your heart would just stop when you were in their presence because you just knew that your bit of happiness was about to be ripped away in just a matter of seconds……I feared this person greatly, but the only thing that brought calmness to my heart was the fact that I only encountered this bully at school. Once the bell rang and I got on the bus to go home, I was finally able to escape that hell. I was able to live freely once again without the constant terror of being punched, teased, or constantly embarrassed. I was home……..where those who loved me also reside.
Even in my teen years, I encountered bullies, but I just knew that once school ended I would encounter this no longer. I knew that once I exited grade schools I would leave behind the bullies and just walk into a world of positivity that had nothing but great things in store for me. I thought bullies didn’t exist after the age of 18. I thought people who were bullies grew out of it….. I thought so many things but…… I think in some aspects I was wrong. You see, many of us believe that bullying only happens in our childhood, however, is that actually so?
As adults, we do not use the word bully as much. We use it if a kid is being picked on, but as far as adult usage, it is rarely used. Adults seem to use such phrases as “they constantly disrespect me”, “they constantly try to ridicule me in front of others”, or “they talk to me like I am trash”….they never call that person a bully, they just think it is a person behaving badly. Why is that?
Are adults afraid to admit that they are being mistreated by others?
Are adults afraid to associate their situations with those of adolescent teens and elementary kids?
When researching bullying, one of the first websites which pops up is stopbullying.org. According to this website the definition is as follows:
Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious lasting problems.
In order to be considered bullying, the behavior must be aggressive and include:
§ An Imbalance of Power: Kids who bully use their power-such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity – to control or harm others. Power imbalances can change over time and in different situations even if they involve the same people.
§ Repetition: Bullying behaviors happen more than once or have the potential to happen more than once.
………But don’t some adults experience the same thing? ………..
I have seen many adults constantly humiliate others for no reason at all.
I have seen adults expose embarrassing information about someone in order to “get back” at them.
I have seen someone who holds a powerful position, control someone’s actions just because of the amount of power in the community they possess…….
But why isn’t this called bullying? ……….
So what do you think? Do you believe that bullying only happens in the adolescent world or do you think it can exist in adult lives as well?
Monica Renata